woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
