please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
