Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
