I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i think i just lost a toe
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
