My girlfriend figured out who you are.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
