good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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