You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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