Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
