Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
