Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
