someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dick very happy bro
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
