she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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