do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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