Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
