I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
