Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
