dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
