omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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