You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
