Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
