is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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