You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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