Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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