so let's talk penis.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
