he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
