What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
