Your mouth is God's brothel.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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