He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
