Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
