tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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