Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
