I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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