you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
