My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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