i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm both gender and math confused
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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