Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
