Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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