i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
