So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
