If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
