I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
