Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
