Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
