make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize