And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
