So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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