I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
