You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
