I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I want her autograph on my taint
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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