My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
