It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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