As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
